Can't Vs. Won't

I despise the word “can't.” Particularly in frivolous context. I fully acknowledge my hypocrisy in stating this opinion, however, it's true. I will pick on myself first in an attempt to soften the harshness of this entry. I “can't” stop smoking. Yes, I hate it, it smells disgusting, tastes gross, it's expensive, I've tried many times before...and a whole slew of other pertinent points that would sound redundant at this time. But what it really boils down to is simple; I won't. It's something I desire but am not willing to put in the effort and work for it right now. It is frustrating at best, especially when I think about people who would kill to have the 6 dollars I spend on cigarettes to eat food or put gas in their car. Nope, not me, I choose to spend it on a toxic chemical that makes me look severely unattractive. It makes me sick when I do the math and calculate annually what I spend (I always stop the calculations at one year because I fear knowing how much, in total, I've wasted my money on might actually get me to quit.)

It is the same as an overweight person desperately voicing their earnest desire to lose weight ….as they shuffle a cupcake in their mouth. That person won't put in the effort to actually lose the weight therefore doesn't want it that bad (That is, unless they have a computerized hand that just so happened to have a glitch at that convenient moment. Those people get a free pass.) Please, know I am in no way speaking about certain weight problems that cannot be controlled. People with thyroid problems or other illness needing to stay on a steroid regime..those people actually can't. The cupcake eating person with the the computer virus in their hand...won't. See? Thats my point: Can't VS. Won't. So... why the hell are we like this?

It is baffling in my own personal installment of this entry because I am incredibly disciplined in several aspects of my life. Just not others. I have quit “habits” or other immensely problematic issues. So, I know I have the ability. In no way do I believe that if I were locked in a room full of water and food, but no cigarettes, that I would instantly keel over and kick the bucket. Thats absolutely absurd. I just don't understand why we are so lackadaisical with the things we voice out the most. Maybe america really is just “full of shit.” Can you even imagine if we all started acting on every productive verbalization?

Okay, I will stop venting before I find myself swaying back and forth in a dimly lit room with “What the world needs now” playing quietly from my record player...

...just think about the committal verbiage you audibly make to yourself and to others.